So, much to my husbands dislike awhile back I had accepted a friend on Facebook from my past. High school in fact. Some guy I went on a date with once.
I must have liked him. I have since found I had put a star beside his picture in my school yearbook. Grade ten. He says we saw Ghostbusters. I thought he was a different guy with the same first name. When I realized it wasn't I thought he was another guy I knew, also the same first name. I'm so ridiculous! I felt real badly that I didn't remember the date. He had contacted me to actually apologize for dumping me after that first and only date. I forgave him, but what I fool I felt for not remembering him!
I guess that also means I wasn't completely devastated that he dumped me. I could go on about my unlovely teenage years, and the many heartaches I did suffer....but I'm going to stick to the topic, GOD's amazingly weird sense of humour!
So, apologies given, and forgiveness received. That was that. Or so I thought.
The other night, midnight my time he messages me on Facebook. Want's to ask me a question. I got nervous. Had a weird thing happen on Facebook less than five years ago....Thankfully his question was not weird. In fact it was ridiculously surprising! He had seen from some of my status updates that I was a christian. So this was his question...
"If you don't mind me asking, do you have any suggestions for someone who has had a falling out with the Big guy?"
Well! Knock me over with a feather! That was definitely a great and unexpected, but lovely question! Unfortunately it was asked at a late hour. So I did respond a bit and he admitted I got his brain churning, but sleep was calling, cuz us 'over 40's' just can't stay up all night like we could when we were young.
My response was basically that even if he felt like he had a falling out with God, God was still right there beside him. God had never gone anywhere, only my friend thought He had. That's common
really in situations where we pull away from God. It makes us feel like God is across a great chasm and it is too difficult to reach Him again. But in reality, though we are blind to the spirit world around us, God never leaves us, nor forsakes us. He is always faithful to us, even when we are not faithful to Him. God makes big promises, and He never breaks them! So, since our conversation got cut short due to the late hour I thought I would try to respond a bit more here with what's been on my heart since. My friend and his wife can read this weird little blog I started and see how I have struggled but continue to pursue God anyway. In spite of the anger, disappointment and lack of support I have had and still deal with sometimes.
Things I have learned over the last few years keep me coming back to God, and not giving up. Like, for instance, just because we don't understand the "answer" doesn't mean God broke a promise, or isn't with us. It means we don't see everything from His perspective, like He does. And, just because Gods people don't know how to react, or respond, or even love us the way we need during and after a crisis doesn't mean God is rejecting us. All it means is people don't know how to respond. They are fallible people, just like me. I don't know everything, am not a mind reader, and in some cases have not been taught how to respond to some situations others might be dealing with. This is where I need to grow in grace towards them. I have to choose to not be offended when someone does not respond towards me how I expect them to respond to me.
Something I have also come to realize. Todays culture and societal norms do not prepare us to walk through tough life issues with others over long periods of time. For instance. The first time my husband had heart surgery he was in hospital for two whole months. When he did finally returned
home, he was weak and under weight, but he was alive! We had three small kids at the time, aged from 5 months to 4.5 years old. The first few weeks of his hospitalization I had casserole dishes and meals piled in the freezer. We had visitors to the hospital and cards too wishing my husband a speedy recovery. Then when he got home no one visited, no one called, and no one brought over prepared meals. But this was the hardest time for me! My mother who looked after the kids during the hospital stay was now gone home so I was left to look after all three kids myself AND after my husband who had very little strength to do much but eat and sit and dress himself. Plus I had the house to keep up, bills to do (with much less income on sick leave), and daily chores like groceries or laundry. At first my hubby could not even watch the kids by himself. I was way more in need of help when he got home just like when he first went in hospital. But I never told anyone that. And no one asked. We had been the flavour of the month at church. Then suddenly no one was there to help. But they didn't know I still needed it. Only someone who has endured a long battle emotionally, or physically would understand just how long the battle really is! It's not really over when you put on aires and show up to church with smiles on you're faces. Sometimes that's only the half way marker, or not even that! Sometimes it's just easier to pull away and not say anything.
But God created us to be in community with one another. So when someone doesn't know, we must ask for the help. We must open our mouths and say we are not happy, we are depressed, we are struggling with our faith or we are too tired to fight anymore, or we need help putting food on the table! If we don't then we are not giving others the opportunity of being a blessing to us. Or the blessing of learning how to walk through a difficult time in another persons life. These are character building times, for us but also for the outsiders who don't know any better.
Yes, this above is giving the benefit of the doubt that people are naturally good at heart and want to help. I have also experienced people literally backing away from me as I tried to answer their question of how I was. Sometimes people feel overwhelmed by their own life troubles and honestly don't want to "deal" with someone else's stuff. That's fair too. I've been there myself. Doesn't make it feel any better when you are in desperate need of support though.
So that is the time it would be wise to turn to God and bury your head into His chest and let Him
support you. (I'm speaking to myself here...this is good advice!) Tell Him all your fears, and hurts, and needs. Tell Him you are mad, or sad, or broke, or desperate for normal...whatever that is. Tell Him! He is a great big God, He can handle our emotions. He is not afraid of us getting angry, or angry at Him. He is not shaken by our fears, or lack of faith. When our small children come to us afraid, or heart broken, or mad at us a good parent does not turn them away and say get your act together! No! We turn to our children, gather them up in our arms, maybe rock them a little and whisper things in their ears to calm them, and show them they are loved. How much more will our Father in Heaven do that for His children!!? All we need to do is turn to Him as tell Him.