Future Forward

This seems like an unlikely and different vein for me to write on, I know. But it's about time I start thinking ahead instead of constantly looking behind (or at my current circumstances). Staying in my present just feels like more of my past, hopeless. Actually this topic creeped up on me after reading this...

It rang too true for me to be comfortable. I didn't like that I agreed with that statement whole-heartedly. It clung to the edges of my mind. Just lurking there.

That had to, and has to change. Every dream I had long ago was pushed down and eventually washed away with every crisis that happened. A few times I dared to think we might be climbing out of debt or the current crisis. But each time that thought was only met with another thud of the hammer on the coffin of my hopes. The verse Proverbs 13:12 was lodged in my heart,

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life."

Of course there was an emphasis in my mind on the first part due to my hopes for " normal" life being crushed.

So all of this lead me to re-read a year old blog of my friends. It is a bucket list. The idea of having a bucket list is SO foreign to me that the first time or two I read it back when it was posted, I marvelled at the idea. I literally thought that there was no way I could ever write one. I had no stinkin' clue what I would put in a list that would be even remotely possible, that I could ever have the gaul to assume I could accomplish. But that was a year ago.

Yesterday, as I read my friends List again I noticed that this past week she actually fulfilled #21, to Scuba Dive. Granted she is learning in the freezing cold waters of the Northumberland Straight in the middle of October, but she can now check it off her list. The neat thing too is that now that she is working on her seals for water rescue she will have this knowledge for life and will be able to scuba dive anywhere in the world she may end up. That's totally cool! 

Last night I opened up Pages and started a list. It's short. It's pathetic. But it's a start at dreaming again, hoping again. And maybe with a list I will have something to look past the current crisis and work towards in spite of circumstances that seem to push me down. Some things I might be able to accomplish within a few weeks, others might take years....or never. But at least, if nothing else I will have accomplished one very important thing necessary to all humans. To hope and dream again for a good future.

Attempt at a 

BUCKET LIST

October 13, 2012

1. Dream big enough to actually be able to write a bucket list
2. Read at least one of the 100 greatest Novels (shouldn't this be on every bucket list?)
3. Publish at least one of my stories/allegories 
4. Be debt free
5. Actually fix up and keep up with my garden
6. Live in the same house at least 10 years
7. Return to India
8. Go on a cruise with husband